I am sitting in a coffee shop. I love coffee shops - the sounds, smells, and music mellow out my busy soul, and man do I love coffee. This experience is graciously brought to me by walking pneumonia - no, I am not over here coughing my germs all over everything. My third day on antibiotics has somewhat diminished my cough and done little for my energy level, but I am gloriously thankful for modern medicine. I am just hoping that I will feel up to going to work tomorrow - I miss my job.
But even with headphones in, I can hear the group of women behind me talking "like old biddies". {and now a group of older women accompanied by one of their sons, talking about a girl they want to help that he has given up on, because she makes choices and deserves where she is.} Throw up a name, and see who has the juiciest piece of gossip. Discuss why they don't associate with this person and that person. It is driving me crazy, because they also spend so much time talking about "the church".
The temptation to turn around and ask if they go to church is almost unbearable. I can see their response now - gather themselves up, put their shoulders back, look down their nose and say, "Why of course we do!" Anyways, as I am sitting here playing out how I feel like this conversation would go in my head, I am suddenly rocked by the knowledge that that is me.
How many times have people overheard me talking about a church-affiliated group of people, and wanted to ask me if I actually go to church? How many times have people looked at me and gotten a pompous, "holier than thou" vision of the people of the Kingdom?
How easy is it to do that?
I struggle with this. All the time. For days, I have struggled to push aside the frustration of who someone is dating, first-glance perceptions of the people that live around me, automatic assumptions of a person's life based on the way they act, and my inability to interact with people who don't have a "past". I do not even escape my own judgment.
Or even the man sitting across from me. Earlier, a man walked up to him and commented on his latest tweet, and how much he enjoys seeing his tweets. I could not help but wonder if he was another person who was sharing the prosperity gospel. What if he is spreading truth? What if he is living the life of a Christian, and I am sitting here making assumptions that he has it "all wrong"? What is he is spending his life reaching out to the people I have caused to fall on their face on their journey to the gospel?
Thank God for those people.
I am not very good at quoting scripture. I can never think of the correct verse at the correct time, although there are many times that I have one verse or the other bouncing around my head. Generally in the form of song from a tape I used to listen to about putting on the Armor of God to stand up to a bully, led by an angel who's name I think was Charlie. My favorite is a song focused on John 14:27: Peace I leave with you.
{What if that's how we taught our children to stand up to bullies? Not by hitting back, not by taking it, but by putting on the Armor of God and being strong. It is not turning the other cheek if you run and tattle. It is not turning the other cheek if you turn with eyes downcast and shoulders slumped in defeat. Turning the other cheek is standing strong, eyes blazing with the strength of the Army of Angels standing behind you, and staring down the enemy, then walking away, head held high and knowing that those people cannot hurt you on the inside. I have been bullied, and I wonder if that would have worked.}
Back to my original topic.
I am not going to sit here and quote scripture about why we should not judge. I have judged, been judged, none of that made any bit of a difference. I will say the only time it will matter is when I am standing in the presence of my Maker, and . I have a long ways to go, but I hope the question, "Do you go to church?" will always come to my mind when I sit and find myself judging.
Grace: it is a priceless, beautiful thing.
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