It's crazy. You think you have a handle on life. You think you've found the one. You seem to be Mrs. Right for somebody else too. You start making life plans. Or, rather, your life plans start to blend with somebody else's life plans.
And then, poof... it's done.
It doesn't go out in a blaze of glory. You aren't left crying in the middle of a parking lot. And you aren't even all that sad. Healthy relationships are like that I guess. They just end.
But man, I have a whole lotta love that just needs somewhere to go.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Computers are dumb.
Ok, so I think I'm going to drop my minor.
I realized that I was in the wrong place when I was staring at the chalkboard in my MIS class in complete and utter boredom paired with disbelief, and the rest of the class is hanging on to the edge of their seats in anticipation. Well, almost. I mean, honestly, why can't computers read real words just like everybody else? If silly ol' me can read and execute a command, why can't a computer? That's just ridiculous! Then again, why do they have to be so complicated with all of those 1's and 0's? Count on a computer to be just like a man, "I'm so simple! All I require are 2 digits!" Yeah, but you have to know the "secret" code to read them.
Now, I wish I could end this blog with that statement, because it makes for a rather funny contemplation, but I will continue.
Anyways, now I get to go through my academic plan and see what I have to do to drop this class and still be full time/have credits to graduate and be on track for the CPA exam. Because I was just itching to find something else to do. This is what happens when God says, "Jordan's life plans? Meet God's life plans..."
I realized that I was in the wrong place when I was staring at the chalkboard in my MIS class in complete and utter boredom paired with disbelief, and the rest of the class is hanging on to the edge of their seats in anticipation. Well, almost. I mean, honestly, why can't computers read real words just like everybody else? If silly ol' me can read and execute a command, why can't a computer? That's just ridiculous! Then again, why do they have to be so complicated with all of those 1's and 0's? Count on a computer to be just like a man, "I'm so simple! All I require are 2 digits!" Yeah, but you have to know the "secret" code to read them.
Now, I wish I could end this blog with that statement, because it makes for a rather funny contemplation, but I will continue.
Anyways, now I get to go through my academic plan and see what I have to do to drop this class and still be full time/have credits to graduate and be on track for the CPA exam. Because I was just itching to find something else to do. This is what happens when God says, "Jordan's life plans? Meet God's life plans..."
It's like coming home.
I don't know how to describe the feeling of coming back to school, but I'm pretty sure that 'euphoric' is pretty close.
I've never felt so much connection to a school before. Even when I was at Western, I was pretty unsure what my friendships were going to be like, and trying to get over crushes that might have found significant others. The people there were great, don't get me wrong - but even my closest group of friends weren't prepared to deal with the changes I went through over the summer. Mainly because we didn't connect over one of the greatest constants in my life - my faith. And man, was that first summer a huge catapult into the person that I am today!
And as everybody knows... that just didn't work out.
When I got to UNCC last year, I was pretty lonely. I had about 3 actual friends, and knew only a handful of people from the previous year when I commuted. Sure, about a million people from Rowan County go to UNCC, but I hadn't seen most of those people in 2 or 3 years, and like most friendships from high school... You just don't always want to go there.
But, I really can't tell you how relieved I was to walk into Business Law and see Nicole Rufty sitting in the 3rd row. Or maybe it was the 4th. I knew that, if anything, I had a friend to talk to every Monday & Wednesday =)
Over the course of the year, I made many, many friends. I had several different groups of friends in Witherspoon (all whom have moved out, for the most part) and my current roommate came from there too. And I found BAP.
I feel like everywhere that I go, I see a familiar face that looks genuinely happy to see me, and I love it! I've had several dinners and a party and about a million hugs happen throughout the last few days, and I still feel like there are about a million more to go! I feel like there are amazing friendships everywhere that I turn, and it's mainly because of that that I don't worry about friendships lost.
It's just crazy to know that this time next year, I'm going to be looking for a job, or already have one.
Wait, did I just say that?
I've never felt so much connection to a school before. Even when I was at Western, I was pretty unsure what my friendships were going to be like, and trying to get over crushes that might have found significant others. The people there were great, don't get me wrong - but even my closest group of friends weren't prepared to deal with the changes I went through over the summer. Mainly because we didn't connect over one of the greatest constants in my life - my faith. And man, was that first summer a huge catapult into the person that I am today!
And as everybody knows... that just didn't work out.
When I got to UNCC last year, I was pretty lonely. I had about 3 actual friends, and knew only a handful of people from the previous year when I commuted. Sure, about a million people from Rowan County go to UNCC, but I hadn't seen most of those people in 2 or 3 years, and like most friendships from high school... You just don't always want to go there.
But, I really can't tell you how relieved I was to walk into Business Law and see Nicole Rufty sitting in the 3rd row. Or maybe it was the 4th. I knew that, if anything, I had a friend to talk to every Monday & Wednesday =)
Over the course of the year, I made many, many friends. I had several different groups of friends in Witherspoon (all whom have moved out, for the most part) and my current roommate came from there too. And I found BAP.
I feel like everywhere that I go, I see a familiar face that looks genuinely happy to see me, and I love it! I've had several dinners and a party and about a million hugs happen throughout the last few days, and I still feel like there are about a million more to go! I feel like there are amazing friendships everywhere that I turn, and it's mainly because of that that I don't worry about friendships lost.
It's just crazy to know that this time next year, I'm going to be looking for a job, or already have one.
Wait, did I just say that?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My 8-5 blessing.
I don't talk about my job on social networking sites. Mainly because from the corporate point of view, they hire people to get information out to the public, and that person is not me - my words, not theirs. but I have figured out something that I can say.
I work with the most incredible people. incredible in the way that they are so knowledgable and often, wise, yet they are so genuine and down to earth at the same time. I have never felt like people look at me and think, "oh, she's just an intern, I don't have time to get to know her" honestly, athough I am temporary and am pretty limited as to what kind of input I can offer, people seem to have a strong curiosity about my life. nd they are never too busy to help me fix the copier. I really feel lucky that a corporation as large and well known as DE was willing to give me the chance to proove myself, and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.
I typed this on my blackberry, please exusce any errors.
I work with the most incredible people. incredible in the way that they are so knowledgable and often, wise, yet they are so genuine and down to earth at the same time. I have never felt like people look at me and think, "oh, she's just an intern, I don't have time to get to know her" honestly, athough I am temporary and am pretty limited as to what kind of input I can offer, people seem to have a strong curiosity about my life. nd they are never too busy to help me fix the copier. I really feel lucky that a corporation as large and well known as DE was willing to give me the chance to proove myself, and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.
I typed this on my blackberry, please exusce any errors.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
A place apart...
I should be asleep because 5:45 a.m. is gonna come early, but I think I'm just going to write a little before i get there.
Today a family of about 70 people went their separate ways from camp. It has to happen. There are some days when you welcome the idea of sleep and fewer responsibilities, and there are some days that you want to run screaming in the other direction. I mean, the place is so incredibly blessed that it almost seems magical.
A month and a half ago, i showed up at this place in dark depths of dispair. I mean, I was competing with the San Andres fault, and the earths iron core was starting to get a little nervous. At home, I am surrounded by people who love me, but at camp, I was surrounded by strangers who loved me. They loved me for simple reasons like an extra hand to clean up a bathroom, or somebody else to help set the dining hall. But still, they welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like I had been there from the very beginning. But, just love can't break down the walls that I had built.
That's where God decided I needed a direct line. As in... "Jordan... I love you. You are lovable by yourself. Your mistakes are gone, and you just have to forgive..." Right smack in the middle of the dining hall while I was putting out forks for Wednesday dinner. Kid you freaking not. I walked into the dining hall probably a little worse than a mess... and I walked out with a new purpose in my life. Staff worship was focused on healing. So, after I came to terms with everything that I needed to move past in life, Pastor Mary swooped in and told a powerful story on healing, and made it interactive. By the time I walked out of that craft lodge, I knew that I was going to be just fine. I knew how blessed I was. And I knew that I was on my way to being happier than I had been in a long time.
I just had no idea how amazing this happiness would feel.
I just got back from spending just half a week with these people. And I feel so rejuvenated. This time, it was my faith. I've been so happy lately, and I've just moved away from the real reason I experience this happiness - because God gave it to me. I can't express how powerful the Spirit was this week. How I just couldn't stop myself from smiling as I sang praises this morning. How I was so happy that I had to laugh out loud during the Friday night closing circle with E*Hill. And how I felt like I had died and gone to heaven while standing between Janet and Rebecca and trying to do the motions to Lord I Lift Your Name On High while still holding hands. Everything about camp just makes me feel so full of the Spirit.
And all of this happened in just 11 days.
I have to admit that I wouldn't have been so open to all of these transformations had it not been for the incredible people both at camp and outside of camp. Camp is the catalyst, the thing that grabs me and says, "Hey, shut up and listen for a second. You are about to miss something really important" but I couldn't have done it without the prayers, the encouragement, and the tons of time that people have spent listening to me.
Today a family of about 70 people went their separate ways from camp. It has to happen. There are some days when you welcome the idea of sleep and fewer responsibilities, and there are some days that you want to run screaming in the other direction. I mean, the place is so incredibly blessed that it almost seems magical.
A month and a half ago, i showed up at this place in dark depths of dispair. I mean, I was competing with the San Andres fault, and the earths iron core was starting to get a little nervous. At home, I am surrounded by people who love me, but at camp, I was surrounded by strangers who loved me. They loved me for simple reasons like an extra hand to clean up a bathroom, or somebody else to help set the dining hall. But still, they welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like I had been there from the very beginning. But, just love can't break down the walls that I had built.
That's where God decided I needed a direct line. As in... "Jordan... I love you. You are lovable by yourself. Your mistakes are gone, and you just have to forgive..." Right smack in the middle of the dining hall while I was putting out forks for Wednesday dinner. Kid you freaking not. I walked into the dining hall probably a little worse than a mess... and I walked out with a new purpose in my life. Staff worship was focused on healing. So, after I came to terms with everything that I needed to move past in life, Pastor Mary swooped in and told a powerful story on healing, and made it interactive. By the time I walked out of that craft lodge, I knew that I was going to be just fine. I knew how blessed I was. And I knew that I was on my way to being happier than I had been in a long time.
I just had no idea how amazing this happiness would feel.
I just got back from spending just half a week with these people. And I feel so rejuvenated. This time, it was my faith. I've been so happy lately, and I've just moved away from the real reason I experience this happiness - because God gave it to me. I can't express how powerful the Spirit was this week. How I just couldn't stop myself from smiling as I sang praises this morning. How I was so happy that I had to laugh out loud during the Friday night closing circle with E*Hill. And how I felt like I had died and gone to heaven while standing between Janet and Rebecca and trying to do the motions to Lord I Lift Your Name On High while still holding hands. Everything about camp just makes me feel so full of the Spirit.
And all of this happened in just 11 days.
I have to admit that I wouldn't have been so open to all of these transformations had it not been for the incredible people both at camp and outside of camp. Camp is the catalyst, the thing that grabs me and says, "Hey, shut up and listen for a second. You are about to miss something really important" but I couldn't have done it without the prayers, the encouragement, and the tons of time that people have spent listening to me.
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